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Did the kids just out-hoity-toity me?

Published: Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2017 12:28 p.m. CST

I’m not sure exactly how it happened or when it happened, but it occurred to me the other day my kids speak a different language than I do.

It’s all kind of strange.

Mick is ‘old school’ when it comes to eating. He eats dinner at noon and supper in the evening, whereas I eat lunch and supper, respectively.

But when the kids call to say they’ll be down to hang out and visit on a particular evening, they want to know what I’ll be serving for ‘dinner.’ It’s like they’re all fancy-schmancy about eating after 5 p.m.

We are also a house divided when it comes to, not only the Hawkeyes and Cyclones, but our carbonated beverage of choice. Mick and I drink pop, but the kids drink soda, often poured from the same 2-liter bottle.

What the what?

How did this happen?

I’m going to side-track just a bit here. But there’s a reason so stay with me ...

I’m a card-carrying member of the grammar police, however unless I’m married to you or gave birth to you, I won’t correct you (not so you can hear me, anyway). That’s not to say I’m all uppity about speech, but please excuse me if my left eye begins to twitch when you say something along the lines of “sure, I seen that television program” or “he give this piece of paper a few days ago,” if I’m in your presence.

I also propose a test for anyone wanting to post narratives on Facebook. I cringe at the whole ‘there, they’re and their’ thing and the incorrect use of ‘me’ and ‘I’ — which I realize is throwing a number of people I know under the proverbial bus.

So anyway ...

It’s obvious Josh and Carson paid a bit more attention when I’d talk with them during their growing-up years — probably because I was always repeating the same thing over and over to them due to that selective hearing condition they had — they have excellent grammar.

But my daughter? She was my little mini-me ... until she turned 12, at which point everything I said to her went in one ear and out the other. That lasted most of her teenage years.

She tends to be a bit lazy when it comes to proper speech ... not totally unlike her dad. The difference between Mick and Avery though, is she realizes when she is doing it and most often (when in my presence, anyway) corrects herself with a little grin on her face.

So I understand any confusion they may have had growing up regarding the usage of, as Josh refers to some of his dad’s vernacular — ‘hick slang,’ but how is it we’ve raised three full-blooded siblings, in the same house, with the same parents and they have simply designated different words for use around the supper/dinner table?

I will confess to replacing one in my own vocabulary just from watching the kids’ look of sheer horror when I told them I was going to slip my thongs on and wear to the store. I naturally meant my sandals. They, however, envisioned ... umm ... yeah ...

Contact Dana King at dking@shawmedia.com

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